A Language of Life

Transform Limiting Communication Habits to Life-Serving Responses

Do you ever say or hear words that magically start or escalate an argument, or instantly cause harm?… Like these ‘conflict catalysts’:
☠️“I feel let down by you”… or, “I feel abandoned… betrayed… unsupported”
☠️“I need YOU to listen to me”... or “… to spend time with me”… or whatever way we make others responsible for our feelings, needs and wellbeing?

How about any of these ‘connection killers’?
☠️“It DEFINITELY happened like this…”,  “No, it was like this…”
☠️Or, someone putting their BUT in your face (“I hear you, BUT…”)
☠️‘SHOULDING’ on you (“You shouldn’t…”)
☠️ Telling you what you can or can’t do… have to… must… Or “asking”, but you don’t feel free to say ‘No’?
…Or, maybe we’re limiting ourselves, with these life-denying words (“I should…” “I can’t…” etc.)

Do you submit and go along… but later, make them pay the price of your resentment?
…Or, do you rebel in direct or indirect (e.g. passive aggressive) ways?

Why would we say such things?… Do we enjoy fighting!?

Indeed, sometimes a part of us does want conflict, or to inflict harm.
However, most of the time, that’s the last thing we want… and the reason for this kind of language is as simple as it is tragic: they are just bad habits!

We’ve accidentally been taught to communicate using such ‘relationship death traps’; and they’ve become so common, we barely notice them and fall right in.

Could it be that simply noticing these habits, finding ways to transform them, and making slight tweaks in how we communicate, could spare us of SO much tension, conflict and pain?

This training offers exactly that; using key principles and practices from Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to help us stay grounded in reality, connect with what truly matters, take self-responsibility and create conversations where everyone’s needs are cared for.
… and not by prescribing certain ways of talking, but by raising our awareness of our conditioning, integrating certain key principles and practicing more effective ways to focus our attention and intention. 

We journey together in an experiential exploration of these key differentiations of NVC, using individual and group processes, games, exercises, role-plays and meditations to integrate the teachings.

We see how simple shifts in attention, intention and therefore language can lead to profound changes in our relationships—with ourselves and with others.

We Explore:

• Key questions: What’s alive in us? How can we make life more wonderful? How can we truly take self-responsibility rather than fall into victimhood and blame? 
• Observations vs. evaluations: Make clear non-evaluative observations, rather than interpret what’s going on through our own personal lens. 
• The heart of the matter: Distinguish our universal feelings and needs from thoughts, interpretations and strategies.
• Thoughts disguised as feelings: Recognize ‘faux feelings’ (like “I feel betrayed” or “unsupported”) and uncover the deeper needs and more vulnerable feelings behind them. 
• Needs, strategies & requests: Understand how they relate and differ, and how this clarity can prevent or dissolve conflict.
• Self-connection: Various approaches, in particular ‘self-empathy’, and how we can dance it!
• Requests vs. demands: Make requests that give others a real choice, bringing connection instead of resistance.

You Can Gain:

• Choicefulness: Shift from unconscious reactions to conscious responses; from our judging mind to our vulnerable heart.
• Clarity & understanding: Identify what actually happened and what is truly alive in you and others, allowing you to build common ground and resolve conflicts.
• Authentic self-expression: Communicate what’s really going on inside you without blame, criticism or judgment.
• Self-empathy:  Connect deeply with yourself – your own feelings, needs, desires and limits.
• Freedom & creativity: Know that every need has multiple strategies for being met, and you have the power to find them.
• Peace & connection: Practical skills to turn difficult conversations into opportunities for deepening relationship.

No previous experience required.

This is 1 of 2 related training days over the weekend.
These are part of a series of 8 independent, yet mutually supportive, training days spread over 2 months.

Running in parallel, 1 week later, there will be a similar series in Yator, Granada. This can also include a live-in community experience: anything from a full weekend, including 2 training days and shared ecovillage life… right up to the entire 2-month program for an immersive community exploration that continues beyond. Explained here.
So you have 2 opportunities to attend each day or weekend.

To discover all the training days in both Órgiva and Yator, as well as the ongoing learning and support groups, and all the practical details, see here