Attachment Theory

Security is possible

Attachment Theory is a predictor of success in your relationships, whether they are romantic partners, familial (such as parents, caregivers, or siblings), or platonic (friends).

According to many contemporary authors, there are four types of attachment styles, all with different characteristics. Three are recognized as insecure attachment styles; the other is securely attached. Take our free test to find out which attachment style you have.

Anxious Preoccupied
Relationships can often make you feel anxious, unsafe, or insecure because you likely have a subconscious fear of abandonment. As a result, you seek more closeness in your relationships, need constant reassurance, and can feel afraid if there is a strong sense a loved one is pulling away. While anxiously attached partners can be “clingy”, there are several ways to overcome it.

Fearful Avoidant
Also known as the “disorganized attachment style”. Relationships can feel chaotic, confusing, and overwhelming because you swing between being avoidant and anxious. Depending on the relationship, you can shift between being “hot and cold,” often feeling confused about your feelings. FAs are known for having elements of both anxious and avoidant attachment styles but, can heal their fearful avoidance using several tools.

Dismissive Avoidant
Intense emotions can feel overwhelming and can cause you to pull away from others. You may find yourself withdrawing from arguments or triggering situations. This need for independence can cause challenges in your relationships and inner conflict for you because you want to connect with others on a deeper level and desire affection and comfort. Changing your approach to intimacy can help overcome these challenges.

Secure Attached
You often feel comfortable and at ease in secure relationships. You’re also good at communicating your needs and feelings and feel open to vulnerability in healthy relationships. However, sometimes you can experience difficulty when relating to those who aren’t as secure in relationships. You bond better with secure people seeking close or long-term relationships. Anyone can cultivate a secure attachment style through patience and persistence.

Description from www.attachmenttheory.com

To find out more visit the site, watch the following video and check out the other supportive resources below.

Animated Overview

Watch this Introduction to Attachment Theory

Supportive resources

John Bowlby – Attachment (1969) – The foundational work on Attachment Theory, introducing the concept of attachment behaviors, attachment bonds, and the importance of early relationships in human development.
Mary Ainsworth – Infancy in Uganda: Infant Care and the Growth of Love (1967) – Ainsworth’s seminal study on attachment, which introduced the concept of "secure" vs. "insecure" attachment patterns.
Patricia Crittenden – The Dynamics of Attachment (2016) – A comprehensive exploration of attachment theory, including different attachment patterns and their impacts throughout the life cycle.
Daniel J. Siegel – The Developing Mind (2012) – Explores the impact of attachment relationships on brain development and mental health.
Philip R. Shaver & Mario Mikulincer – Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change (2010) – A detailed examination of how attachment patterns manifest in adulthood and influence relationships.
Dan Hughes – Attachment-Focused Family Therapy (2009) – Provides practical applications of attachment theory in family therapy, with a focus on healing trauma in children.
Sue Johnson – Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (2008) – Explores how attachment theory shapes romantic relationships and offers practical advice for building secure, lasting connections.
Bessel van der Kolk – The Body Keeps the Score (2014) – Discusses the intersection of trauma, attachment, and the body’s response to emotional and relational wounds.
Alison Gopnik – The Philosophical Baby: What Children’s Minds Tell Us About Truth, Love, and the Meaning of Life (2009) – Explores attachment from a cognitive developmental perspective, highlighting the importance of early relationships for lifelong emotional and cognitive growth.
Kim Golding – Nurturing Attachments (2014) – Focuses on how to build secure attachments with children, particularly those who have experienced trauma or neglect.

Core Attachment Theory Resources

The Attachment Theory Website – A comprehensive site offering an overview of Attachment Theory, research, and its applications in therapy and personal relationships.
The Centre for Attachment-based Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy – A site dedicated to the clinical application of attachment theory in psychotherapy, featuring resources and training.
Attachment Parenting International (API) – An organization dedicated to promoting attachment-based parenting practices and resources for caregivers.
Sue Johnson’s Hold Me Tight – A resource hub based on Sue Johnson's work, offering support for couples and therapists looking to apply attachment theory in relationships.
The Early Attachment and Trauma Website – Focuses on how early attachment experiences impact psychological development, particularly in relation to trauma and mental health.
Attachment Parenting Blog – A blog that explores attachment-based parenting strategies, emotional bonding, and attachment repair.
The Attachment Research Center – A research-focused organization offering articles, studies, and other resources about attachment styles and their impact across the lifespan.

Training & Therapy-Based Resources

The International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy – Offers training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which is rooted in attachment theory and focuses on creating secure emotional bonds in relationships.
The Attachment Institute – Offers training programs, workshops, and online courses aimed at helping individuals and professionals deepen their understanding of attachment theory.
The Trauma and Attachment Report – A newsletter and resource site providing updates on the intersection of trauma, attachment, and mental health care.

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Or, if you want to work with me privately (in-person or online), we can use it, learn it, practice it and find ways to integrate it into your relationships, work or personal growth journey.